Released: 2022
Conan Gray’s “Family Line” is an articulation of the experiences stemming from family trauma and the scars left behind, sparked with denial, rage, and ultimately an attempt to understand and reconcile with the past. This emotionally laden pop ballad is classically Conan – a raw, unfiltered exploration of personal experiences that are often denied a voice in the pop world.
The opening lines, “My father never talked a lot / He just took a walk around the block / ‘Till all his anger took a hold of him / And then he’d hit,” lays bare the truth about an abusive father figure. The walk serving as a metaphor for emotional escapism and the “anger taking a hold” being a common yet devastating refrain from abusive households. This forms the primary character sketch of the father figure in the family line.
In contrast, the mother figure in the “Family Line” is painted as a victim who endures abuse and chooses silence up to a hilt (“My mother never cried a lot / She took the punches, but she never fought”). However, she eventually gathers the courage to break this cycle, leaving with the kids, embodying resilience and survival.
The hook portrays the conviction of being akin to his parents (“I truly am my parents’ child”) while also highlighting his struggles with falsehood (“I’m so good at telling lies / That came from my mother’s side”) and the deep-seated fear of abandonment (“God, I have my father’s eyes / But my sister’s when I cry”). The line “I can run, but I can’t hide / From my family line” emphasises the theme of inescapable family ties and emotional narratives inherited from one’s lineage.
Delving into the second verse, we are presented with the persistent pain that certain events can cause, like holidays, where the sight of doting fathers with daughters serves as a stark reminder of the trauma Conan experienced. These lines underscore the struggle with forgiveness given the gravity of the inflicted pain, the inability to ‘forget’, and the entrenched fear that those he loves might also abandon him.
The final part of the song enters the realm of contemplation, as Gray hints at the self-blame often associated with victims of abuse (“Oh, all that I did to try to undo it”). Gray’s profound realization that he might not change his past, even if he could, perhaps becoming a crucial step towards healing, comes through in the lyrics “But now I see, would I even change it?”
The chorus repeating again and reiterating the claims in the hook, this time, with a sense of painful acceptance and articulating his emotional inheritance in the line, “From my family line.” The powerful last words of denial, “We are not the same,” denote an urge to separate his identity from his family narrative.
Conan Gray’s “Family Line” is indeed a stirring narrative that pushes past the usual pop superficiality, delivering a powerful and heartfelt exploration of familial ties and scars. Its honesty and rawness make it one of the most memorable tracks in Gray’s discography.
