Released: 2023
“Crude Drawing Of An Angel” by Caroline Polachek is a powerfully introspective track that explores the complexities and discomforts of a romantic relationship. The song portrays its central character wrestling with a self-awareness of their faults and insecurities, attempting to immortalize their love through drawing their significant other while they sleep.
Opening with the lines “Draw the blinds / Draw the bath”, the song immediately sets up an intimate scene, indicating privacy and vulnerability. “It’s a matter of time / ‘Til you wake up and watch me / Draw your brow / With shaky hand” tells us of the singer’s attempt to capture their lover’s features, despite the potential cost of waking them up. The shakiness of the hand reflects the emotional vulnerability associated with this act of capturing a fleeting moment.
The repeated refrain “Red light / Oh, my faults / Camera one, camera two / Oh, my greed / On your side, on the carpet / Oh, your need / Camera one, camera two” is a theatrical description of the emotional film playing in her mind. She might be referring to the red light of a camera indicating action, underlining her awareness of her faults (greed and need) that play out like a tragic melodrama.
The use of the term ‘angel’ signifies a kind of deification or idolization of her lover, creating an image that’s perhaps too perfect and unattainable. Yet, “I’d hold you down / Forsake me / Here on the ground / All or nothing” suggests a ruthless commitment, a willingness to engage in a relationship that’s either all-consuming or not at all. Her love is intense, and she’s ready to risk it all, even if it results in her own forsaking.
From the lyrics, it seems ‘drawing’ is not just about creation and inscription, but a deeply emotional process of seeing, knowing, and grappling with the pain and beauty of love. Laying bare her thoughts, Polachek presents a layered depiction of love that’s both a cruel game played under spotlights and an intimate dance sketched in quiet shadows.
